Entirely Made of Flaws

“You are made entirely of flaws and that makes you beautiful. Your ‘flaws’ are simply part of you, they make you unique and they make you beautiful. don’t ever allow someone the power to make you feel weak because they might not like one of your qualities.” – Becca Martin, Thought Catalog

I know many of us do have a difficult time to really accept the flaw(s); flaws that are part of you. I can name a few things of mine that I had a hard time confronting. Normally, I would just brush it aside and sweep them under the rug as if they were specks of dust. But then again, you can’t really avoid it for a long time unless you come to accept them. Now, I am usually an optimistic person and I tell this to people that I know that it is okay to accept them. Cry it out or vent it out to make all things better. And if someone doesn’t like the way you are or how you address yourself, then it is their loss for not knowing you well enough to truly accept that.

I do know that we are entirely made of flaws and that’s the beauty part of being a human being. There is no such thing as a perfect human being, that if you’re wholly narcissistic. If it wasn’t for flaws, people would probably be boring with a boring personality. And living on earth would be the most boring place. I do admit I do not like some of my own flaws and yes, I struggled with them every single day. I don’t know if I can remember a day where I don’t think about my own flaws. It does pop up in your mind like a judgemental blob of yourself, bickering at you the things you should take or do.

One of my flaws is that I don’t stand up for myself often as I should. Especially with my age, I should be able to. However, I overanalyzed myself with things in front of me and come up with many scenarios before I can come up to do it. It does ticks me off when I know I should accept the outcomes and sometimes, I don’t want to accept it. I know I need to accept the truth and move on. I can’t go around, trying to find a better way to soften the blow or avoid from confronting the obstacles in front of me. I just need to face it and I do acknowledge that. I need to build that self-confidence back and try to be a better woman for me and myself only. Building self-confidence is a hard task for me to do. Being self-confidence is also to learn how to love me.

Learning to love myself, I am still stuck in that phase and yet, I tell people that they need some me time and self-care. I do self-care a lot but not the loving myself. I know how to take care of myself even though my life is a little messy sometimes. And loving myself is not easy. I focus on other people’s need and I help people. When it comes to myself, I motivate myself to do things then half-way there, I lost my motivation until they tell me to get on to it. This is something that is long-term for me and I do take my time. I know I am a very patient person so, I am in no rush.

I know a lot of us to like to fix certain things about ourselves. Sometimes, we just need to learn how to accept ourselves and our own flaws. Because we are entirely made of flaws, after all. There is no wrong or right thing about our flaws. Flaws are who we are. Without them, we couldn’t understand what is good and what is bad.

Another thing is that it will take some time to mend things slowly.

 

 

 

How Do I Describe Myself…

Using 5 words.

It is hard to describe myself using 5 adjectives. My friends can describe me better than I can. I’m sitting down on a lofty chair at a cafe in NoHo, thinking and googling words that I actually think it fits me. You’re probably thinking, “Oh wow, very fancy setting.” No, I just happened to be there and thought, “Why not, since I’m here at a hipster cafe and it makes me wanna blog. HA!” Anywoo, I did come up with 5 words that describe me. Those who know me, correct me if I’m wrong after reading this (not mid-correcting while reading). So, here we go!IMG_3138

  1. Down-to-Earth. Although I may seem shy or quiet (which I actually am), it will take some time for me to really open up to a person. Once I open up, I keep it real. With no pretentious about me, I’ll tell you my honest opinion on whatever topics. I’m always down to try something new such as trying new food place (@authenticlocalfoodie, follow me on other Instagram if you haven’t). I am a simple person who likes everything to go smoothly.
  2. Diligent. I have very good eyes, even though I wear glasses. I still tend things with care. I always make sure I finish my tasks before anything. My parents taught me at an early age that I should be polite always. Making myself to stand out and say, “Hello, good morning,” “Thank you,”Please,” and etc. With that in mind, I do it all the time and even at my work, I make sure everything is organized and in place. If I was running late, I make sure I remind myself to finish the rest the next following day. Sometimes, when I see things that are not done, I’ll do it to get over it as well because of it just me and how I feel.
  3. Amusing. Most people think I’m funnier when I’m not saying anything intentionally, even when I didn’t think it was funny. I can be witty sometimes and sarcastic when it’s the right time. I like to make sure everyone include myself, having fun throughout the day. Sometimes, I can say a small joke to lighten up the mood. Honestly, laughter is the best medicine. For most people who know me, they couldn’t stay mad when I get mad at them for something. They said that they cannot be serious with me when I’m really trying to be serious with them about something. I honestly don’t know why or what’s wrong with them. It got to do with their mental state of mind, (probably watching too much of impractical jokers).
  4. Amiable. People might think that I am a judgemental person but I’m actually not, really. I can be judgemental when it’s necessary. For example, if someone trying to take advantage of my friends, I’ll tell them like it is. I’m a warm person and friendly once you get to know me. I treat my friends as if they were my family. I like to socialize with people who I know and having a good time catching up with them. Most of the times, I am a very good listener because I prefer them talking instead of me talking. I don’t make sense when I’m trying to explain things in person. You know, when you try to explain to someone and it makes sense in your head, however the person in front of you doesn’t. You tried your best to like hack the sentences in basic format, a better explanation but they still don’t get it…I get that a lot. Like A LOT. (all the time).
  5. Visionary.  I’m a very creative person with a huge imagination. I like to do things hands-on. I tend to look in the future to see what’s the outcomes and how to plan it accordingly. Another thing is that I believe that I give good advice. I give good advice that I would give myself pieces of advice as well. I try my best to help others to improve their life better. I always find a solution for them and try to encourage them to follow-up with it.

And…There it is! That wasn’t so hard. I think I’m a likable person. Not so shabby at all. We’ll see what my friends have to say about this post, hahaha. Well, catch a glimpse of Haya later and have a wonderful Monday!

What My Personality Type is? (Long Post)

If you want to read this post, please make yourself comfortable. Since this will be a long post, have a cuppa coffee or lay down on your bed and relax. Hope you’ll find this post interesting enough (fingers crossed).

My personality type is Advocate (INFJ-A).

I was wondering what I should blog next and then I thought about taking a personality type quiz. I was curious if it changes or it remains the same. It seems that it changed since the last time I took a personality type and I remember that it wasn’t Advocate at first. It was pretty awesome. The quiz will only take about 12 minutes or less of your time to take it. You have an option if you want your result to be sent to via your email or you can read ahead.

Basically, being as an advocate type, it is very rare for most people to have this kind of type. Being an advocate, I like to help others and that satisfied me knowing that I helped someone with a situation or problems. It’s funny because when I see my parents helping other people, it sets my future career goal. My dad worked with adult clients that had disabilities and my mom worked at the hospital as CNA (Certified Nurse Assistant). With that perspective, I wanted to grow up as a nurse like my mom or a teacher for Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing children.

I am a soft-spoken person (people have a hard time hearing me because I talk so soft and low) They’ll be like, “Huh? Say again? Sorry, I didn’t hear that.” And I have to turn the volume of my voice up enough for them to hear me. However, I do have a strong opinion on things and I stand on my ground for whatever I believe in until someone at least proves me wrong. When I read the word, egalitarianism and looked up what it means: relating to, or believing in the principle that all people are equal and deserve equal rights and opportunities. I was like whoa, how did you know that?! I honestly felt the same way because people deserve a chance to be acknowledged and be recognized for what they do. And not a lot of people gets that, Not only that, Karma. Oh, Karma and I have a longer relationship than my own relationship and friendships. My birthday month is August and symbolized “8”. What comes around comes back around again. Whatever an event happens will happen again in a similar situation. It will always be there and following everywhere I go.

Even though I like to help others and I need my own time slash space. I will always try my best to find time to spend time with others and that gives me a difficult time to find quality time with myself alone. I know I need to try better in spending quality time with me, myself, and I. Another thing that I need to take care of myself as well. When to the point I can’t handle anything, I get everything out of proportional. Which is a bad habit of myself and letting that happens in front of others. I always apologize once I calm down after a few minutes.

Strengths and Weaknesses

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Strengths of Advocate type:

  • Creative – with fair imagination with a strong sense of compassion, I’ll use my creativity to solve problems in a realistic way. Especially with helping with someone with their issues.
  • Insightful – being able to have an honest discussion with others and see how events and people are connected in order to get to the heart of the matter.
  • Inspiring and Convincing – useful with words and able to persuade people. I don’t think I am a good speaker but I try my best to inspire people.
  • Decisive – I am very adamant about my decision and I tends to follow through. Even the plan fails, I always have a backup plan.
  • Determined and Passionate – I’m very determined to reach the goals I made for myself and passionate about what I do and put in anything.
  • Altruistic – It means showing a disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others’ unselfish. I do have strong beliefs and try to put into action and not because I’m trying to get ahead of myself but to put out an idea out there and believe that idea would make the world a better place.

Weaknesses of Advocate type:

  • Sensitive – When someones criticize me or talk over me, I get sensitive easily. I quiet down, making everything awkward.
  • Extremely Private – I am an open-minded person but I may not be too extremely private. I am private enough with most of my personal life. I share only a few people who I am close to.  I do have trust issues based on my own personal experiences.
  • Perfectionist – Oh, I have several things that makes me a perfectionist.
  • Always Need to Have a Cause – I must have a goal that has an outcome to it. If there are no results in what I do, what the point of me to continue? (there is no goal at all, they will feel restless and disappointed). 
  • Can Burn Out Easily – I get tired very easily. Even though I don’t do much or I do a lot of things in one day, I burn out easily mainly, mentally.

Relationships with an Advocate type

Oh, my gulay. When I read the section of ‘Advocate Relationship,’ I agreed on all of it. When I’m in a relationship, I’m pretty serious. Currently, I am in a relationship and it’s been one year and nine months. We knew each other one or two years prior getting together. Once I found him, I look at him imaging on what it is like to be with him in a long-term. I look past his flaws, accepting that it is part of him. If he wants to mend some flaws of his, I will give him my full support. He and I are supportive of each other and try our best to stay authentic with each other; telling each other honestly and learning to accept the truth. We both look at each other for emotional support and embraces that part of us. It literally strengthens the relationship we have since we’re both passionate people. When it comes to intimacy, Advocates cherish not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person, in mind, body, and soul.

Friendships

I make mostly close friends because nowadays, you do not need 800+ friends to make your life better nor easier. Although, it will take a while for me to get know people. I like to connect people with similar interests. No, this doesn’t mean like oh, I think I like you in that way. That goes every people I connect/interact with. I tend to avoid people who are egoistic or talking over other people. If I want to get to know the person, be yourself naturally. I agreed with this statement, quality trumps quantity every time, and over the years they will likely end up with just a few true friendships, built on a richness of mutual understanding that forges an indelible link between them.I always tell this to people spending quality time is more important than how many times. I even tell this to my boyfriend, haha.

I’ll skip the parenthood, careers, and workplace habits to get to the conclusion. There are so many things I want to point out but I don’t want to make this post even longer and boring for you guys ><

I’ll quote a statement that describes an Advocate I am, right now.

You may have muttered to yourself, “wow, this is so accurate it’s a little creepy” or “finally, someone understands me!” You may have even asked “how do they know more about me than the people I’m closest to?”  like dude, staph analyzing my brain!

So yeah, that was pretty interesting to know! If you like to know what your personality type is, take this link: https://www.16personalities.com/  and take it 🙂 If you like to share your personality type, please do comment! I wonder if you’re thinking the same way I was thinking when I take this test. Well, catch a glimpse of Haya later.