Deaf Identity

I didn’t discover my identity until college. I thought I was normal with two hearing aids and thinking that oh! Hearing people are better than Deaf people. I guess you can say that when I was in high school, I tried to be “better” than my own Deaf peer group. I was mainstreamed since elementary (placed in hearing slash normal classes). I had speech therapy, basically from elementary to high school. In my mind, I never truly accept the term, “Deaf”. It makes me feel dehumanizing in some ways. People look at you differently, treat you differently, and speak to you differently. And I didn’t like that.

I put myself in a higher expectation than my own parent’s because I wanted to show everyone, not just my family that I can do what normal people can do. Except for one thing, I cannot hear very well. Some certain people do not understand that even though you do know how to speak, that doesn’t mean you can hear well too. Like, hello. I still need to work myself in ‘hearing’ you.

My best friend and I used to talk each other in simcom, simultaneous communication. We basically identified ourselves as Hard-of-Hearing folks because we can talk at the same time, signing. We were like the coolest people out of our own group. You know how when you were young, you just trying to figure out where you fit in this small group and then, label yourself something to make yourself looks cooler than other people. I was like that. I thought being cooler will make people like me despite that I am Deaf.

I remember going into classes, I get embarrassed that I had to sit down in front of the classes for the interpreters when I wanted to sit all the way in the back. I wanted to hide instead of just standing out and have them saying behind my back, “She’s Deaf?” “Shouldn’t she be in Special class?” It’s annoying that I need to step up my standard to show them I don’t need to be in special class or I don’t define myself based on my hearing problem. I have a lot to offer.

I used to have a lot of hearing friends back in high school. Just acknowledged them mostly. Only a few friends that I knew doesn’t look at me based on my Deafness but look at me as a human being. It’s rare because teenagers judge so much that they want to make sure they’re cool enough.

So before, I transferred to CSUN (my Alma Mater) majoring Deaf Studies. I wanted to become a teacher for the DHH someday.  This is where I actually discovered my true identity. I didn’t know much about Deaf Culture, nor Deaf Community as well. I was overwhelmed with the history, resources, and the people. Once I learned about Deaf Culture, I started to truly accept my Deafness. The Deaf part is what defined me. Having hearing aids doesn’t but to show that I am Deaf, I was proud to call myself Deaf.

I signed more than I used to before living with my parents. I got involved with a lot of Deaf events and community. It was amazing to see different people from different background, coming together and actually have something in common. Now, I educate about my culture to hearing people who may not know about Deaf people. I know there are a whole lot of Deaf communities all over the countries and it is not just one country. I embraced my Deafness with the people I socialize with and expose my boyfriend into knowing about Deaf Culture/Community.

With this passion and knowledge about Deaf Culture and my identity, it motivates me to continue my journey in becoming a teacher. I know I will have to face obstacles, but I need to tell myself that I should not give up. I am still learning. I am still learning about everything that is relevant to my identity. If a person asks me this question, “Do you regret being Deaf or being born Deaf?” I will say no. I do not regret one bit. It becomes a part of me, makes me who I am today. Whatever identity you identify yourself, don’t be afraid to tell people who you are. Don’t let people put you down where you should be ashamed. Be proud of your culture  (multi-culture) slash identity. Be proud of who you are. Stand up tall and show your pride. Embrace it!

Catch a glimpse of Haya later 🙂

Aneela

One random morning, my roommate and I were sitting in the dining area. I asked her if she would like to be the first person for me to interview. She was like “Yeah, sure.” And so this happened…

img_3539Tell me about yourself.

Wanna know about myself? 

Yes.

You know about myself.

Well, the point of this interview is the people who are reading this blog will like to know about yourself.

Okay…I grew up in San Diego. Where my family from is from Iraq. I forgot to say that I was born and raised in SD. I was born with a lot of complications and survived through multiple surgeries. I was mainstreamed throughout the school. I was bullied because I am Deaf. I bear through it even though I don’t complain about it. I love my family but I don’t get along with them due to communication. A few of my friends and mentors encouraged me to go to school which is CSUN and yeah, there you go! WAIT, go back. First move in with roommates. My first roommate moving after 29 years living with family. I got so lucky that I have amazing roommates AND I heard rumors that you guys are bad roommates But only me, I got lucky. Then after that two years, I got a BA.

What ethnicity are you?

American-Chaldean.

Describe yourself with 3 words.

Faith. Hope. Love

Woman, that is a quote.

HAHA! (walks away to the kitchen) Woman.

What is your pet peeves?

(Laughs). Nothing.

Are you sure?

Yes

Woman, what you don’t like or see in front of you.

Nothing. (facepalm). Because I know you have certain things you don’t like, but okay.

Who is your role model, and why? Someone you look up to.

Still thinking, I don’t know (eating her toast in front of me…Looking at Lance.)

Vadja. Why? He is my teacher from high school. He is also my mentor. What he did for his children and how he raises them. I look at him like wow! I want to do similar things like him. And plus he is Deaf. He teaches for 35 years. He is also the reason why I go to CSUN.

What’s the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten?

Hot sauce. No, I’m kidding. Jalapeño. I like hot Cheetos. One time, I ate chicken wings but the sauce itself was the spiciest I ever have eaten and vowed myself not to eat them again. It’s like OOO! Another one is curry. 

How do you judge a person?

I don’t judge people. Unless in my culture, we do judge people with their makeups like if they put WAAAY too many makeups or did not fit with their skin tone color. That it.

What’s the most annoying noise?

The sirens in general and cockroaches. One time, I asked my mom what is that noise? She asked what noise? That ticking or ee-ing thing. Mom said oh, that’s cockroaches. You can hear that?! She said, yeah! I can hear that. It’s gross. Mom asked, can you hear them overnight? She said, no thank god. I took off my hearing aids when I sleep.

What food do you crave most often?

Obviously, sushi.

What is your sign?

Virgo. You know. VIRGO! (fist in the air)

But people don’t know that. 

What are you currently worried about?

About my recent surgery and my health.

If someone narrated your life, who would you want to be the narrator?

Points at me. (I laugh then a straight face). HAHA.

At this point, I ran out of questions and time. I had to get ready for work. Let me know who you want me to interview and I can try my best to interview that person in person or possibly in face time. So far, I am liking how this interview turns out when I added the action and expression in it. It shows her personality and the vibe of the interview, hahaha. Anyways, catch a glimpse of Haya later!

Thoughts of Moving Out

Inside the world of my thoughts.

“Shiet.”

“Think positive. Everything will be alright.”

“I’m moving out for some good reasons: saving money, helping out my parents, focusing more on what I need to do for myself.”

“Eh, it’s not a bad idea.”

“Eh, maybe it is. At some point, I’ll suffocate.”

“AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhahahhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

“What about my freedom/my independence?”

“I’m going to miss driving everywhere every time I’m craving for food.”

Looking around the living room and see Lance in his own little world on the floor.

Awh, I’m going to miss Lance and his weirdness. Look at his long legs!”

“I’m going to miss this huge space. Coz’ I know it’ll be small when I move in back home.”

Fake crying on that thought.

“What about my work? Gotta think about the miles and hours.”

“At least, I got some excuse to stay longer or sleepover.” “Pothativeth thinkink.”

“Meh, at least I only work in the afternoon every day. Should be fine.”

“Well, during night time…Probably going wait until the traffic wind down.”

“I think I have a lot of things to bring.”

“My parents need to get rid of a lot of things before I bring them down there.”

“I need to donate most of my clothes. I don’t even wear half of my closet.”

I started making a list of what to do.

“I need to reserve a u-haul. I need to ask my boss for a request day off.”

“I need to start saving more money instead of buying food…Should I get acai bowl, though? That sounds actually pretty good right now…”

“I need to start organizing my shit especially things that I don’t even use at all.”

“I need to remind my roommates about the day I’ll be moving out.”

“Mama needs to get rid of her scrubs or send it to the Philippines.”

“I need to get my shiet and life together.”

I got distracted.

“What should I eat before work?”

“I want spam and egg with rice…”

“Why I have so many books in the storage?”

“Should I stop by Targets?”

“I need to finish this level on Genies & Gems game.”

“I honestly don’t think I have a lot of things from here…Seriously…Maybe…”

Burp.

“Excuse me.”

Stay tuned for a glimpse of Haya 🙂

 

 

 

 

How Do I Describe Myself…

Using 5 words.

It is hard to describe myself using 5 adjectives. My friends can describe me better than I can. I’m sitting down on a lofty chair at a cafe in NoHo, thinking and googling words that I actually think it fits me. You’re probably thinking, “Oh wow, very fancy setting.” No, I just happened to be there and thought, “Why not, since I’m here at a hipster cafe and it makes me wanna blog. HA!” Anywoo, I did come up with 5 words that describe me. Those who know me, correct me if I’m wrong after reading this (not mid-correcting while reading). So, here we go!IMG_3138

  1. Down-to-Earth. Although I may seem shy or quiet (which I actually am), it will take some time for me to really open up to a person. Once I open up, I keep it real. With no pretentious about me, I’ll tell you my honest opinion on whatever topics. I’m always down to try something new such as trying new food place (@authenticlocalfoodie, follow me on other Instagram if you haven’t). I am a simple person who likes everything to go smoothly.
  2. Diligent. I have very good eyes, even though I wear glasses. I still tend things with care. I always make sure I finish my tasks before anything. My parents taught me at an early age that I should be polite always. Making myself to stand out and say, “Hello, good morning,” “Thank you,”Please,” and etc. With that in mind, I do it all the time and even at my work, I make sure everything is organized and in place. If I was running late, I make sure I remind myself to finish the rest the next following day. Sometimes, when I see things that are not done, I’ll do it to get over it as well because of it just me and how I feel.
  3. Amusing. Most people think I’m funnier when I’m not saying anything intentionally, even when I didn’t think it was funny. I can be witty sometimes and sarcastic when it’s the right time. I like to make sure everyone include myself, having fun throughout the day. Sometimes, I can say a small joke to lighten up the mood. Honestly, laughter is the best medicine. For most people who know me, they couldn’t stay mad when I get mad at them for something. They said that they cannot be serious with me when I’m really trying to be serious with them about something. I honestly don’t know why or what’s wrong with them. It got to do with their mental state of mind, (probably watching too much of impractical jokers).
  4. Amiable. People might think that I am a judgemental person but I’m actually not, really. I can be judgemental when it’s necessary. For example, if someone trying to take advantage of my friends, I’ll tell them like it is. I’m a warm person and friendly once you get to know me. I treat my friends as if they were my family. I like to socialize with people who I know and having a good time catching up with them. Most of the times, I am a very good listener because I prefer them talking instead of me talking. I don’t make sense when I’m trying to explain things in person. You know, when you try to explain to someone and it makes sense in your head, however the person in front of you doesn’t. You tried your best to like hack the sentences in basic format, a better explanation but they still don’t get it…I get that a lot. Like A LOT. (all the time).
  5. Visionary.  I’m a very creative person with a huge imagination. I like to do things hands-on. I tend to look in the future to see what’s the outcomes and how to plan it accordingly. Another thing is that I believe that I give good advice. I give good advice that I would give myself pieces of advice as well. I try my best to help others to improve their life better. I always find a solution for them and try to encourage them to follow-up with it.

And…There it is! That wasn’t so hard. I think I’m a likable person. Not so shabby at all. We’ll see what my friends have to say about this post, hahaha. Well, catch a glimpse of Haya later and have a wonderful Monday!

Why the Charm?

As you all know my name is Haya. My mom gave me Haya Charm or Hayacharm (depending on my birth certificate). “Supposedly,” the Charm was supposed to be a nickname. I honestly thought don’t know but, I need to clarify with my parents with my first name… But no one calls me Charm nor Hayacharm. Let tell you a short story of how I got my name.

When I was in middle school, I believe. One of my teachers decided to do an activity where we use the computer and we have to find the meaning of our name. At the time, I already knew my name was unique and I hated my name. I thought I wouldn’t find the meaning behind my name and I was surprised that I did found some. After school, I went home and I approached my mom. I asked her, “Ma, why do you named me Haya Charm?” My mom tells me this story.

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“I went to work abroad. That time, I was working in Japan…(I don’t remember some.) However, a man who approached me and started a conversation with me. The man said to me, “You should name your future daughter, Haya.” So, I named you Haya with Charm because my nickname is Lucky. Everyone calls me Lucky. So, your name is Haya Charm. “

I looked at her in awe. Like, thinking to myself, “Why did she take the man’s advice?”  or “But why, Haya?” So, that’s the reason why my name is given. What an interesting story.

But now, I grew with my name. I grew to love my name. I know it is unique and it is me. I know there isn’t no one else like me. If you have a unique name, learn to love it. You can ask your parents about why you got your name and maybe they have a story behind while picking your name. However, I know my name suits me because who else will call me Haya? Well, find out through your parents and see, if you’re curious about your name.

Catch a glimpse of Haya later 🙂

What My Personality Type is? (Long Post)

If you want to read this post, please make yourself comfortable. Since this will be a long post, have a cuppa coffee or lay down on your bed and relax. Hope you’ll find this post interesting enough (fingers crossed).

My personality type is Advocate (INFJ-A).

I was wondering what I should blog next and then I thought about taking a personality type quiz. I was curious if it changes or it remains the same. It seems that it changed since the last time I took a personality type and I remember that it wasn’t Advocate at first. It was pretty awesome. The quiz will only take about 12 minutes or less of your time to take it. You have an option if you want your result to be sent to via your email or you can read ahead.

Basically, being as an advocate type, it is very rare for most people to have this kind of type. Being an advocate, I like to help others and that satisfied me knowing that I helped someone with a situation or problems. It’s funny because when I see my parents helping other people, it sets my future career goal. My dad worked with adult clients that had disabilities and my mom worked at the hospital as CNA (Certified Nurse Assistant). With that perspective, I wanted to grow up as a nurse like my mom or a teacher for Deaf and Hard-of-Hearing children.

I am a soft-spoken person (people have a hard time hearing me because I talk so soft and low) They’ll be like, “Huh? Say again? Sorry, I didn’t hear that.” And I have to turn the volume of my voice up enough for them to hear me. However, I do have a strong opinion on things and I stand on my ground for whatever I believe in until someone at least proves me wrong. When I read the word, egalitarianism and looked up what it means: relating to, or believing in the principle that all people are equal and deserve equal rights and opportunities. I was like whoa, how did you know that?! I honestly felt the same way because people deserve a chance to be acknowledged and be recognized for what they do. And not a lot of people gets that, Not only that, Karma. Oh, Karma and I have a longer relationship than my own relationship and friendships. My birthday month is August and symbolized “8”. What comes around comes back around again. Whatever an event happens will happen again in a similar situation. It will always be there and following everywhere I go.

Even though I like to help others and I need my own time slash space. I will always try my best to find time to spend time with others and that gives me a difficult time to find quality time with myself alone. I know I need to try better in spending quality time with me, myself, and I. Another thing that I need to take care of myself as well. When to the point I can’t handle anything, I get everything out of proportional. Which is a bad habit of myself and letting that happens in front of others. I always apologize once I calm down after a few minutes.

Strengths and Weaknesses

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Strengths of Advocate type:

  • Creative – with fair imagination with a strong sense of compassion, I’ll use my creativity to solve problems in a realistic way. Especially with helping with someone with their issues.
  • Insightful – being able to have an honest discussion with others and see how events and people are connected in order to get to the heart of the matter.
  • Inspiring and Convincing – useful with words and able to persuade people. I don’t think I am a good speaker but I try my best to inspire people.
  • Decisive – I am very adamant about my decision and I tends to follow through. Even the plan fails, I always have a backup plan.
  • Determined and Passionate – I’m very determined to reach the goals I made for myself and passionate about what I do and put in anything.
  • Altruistic – It means showing a disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others’ unselfish. I do have strong beliefs and try to put into action and not because I’m trying to get ahead of myself but to put out an idea out there and believe that idea would make the world a better place.

Weaknesses of Advocate type:

  • Sensitive – When someones criticize me or talk over me, I get sensitive easily. I quiet down, making everything awkward.
  • Extremely Private – I am an open-minded person but I may not be too extremely private. I am private enough with most of my personal life. I share only a few people who I am close to.  I do have trust issues based on my own personal experiences.
  • Perfectionist – Oh, I have several things that makes me a perfectionist.
  • Always Need to Have a Cause – I must have a goal that has an outcome to it. If there are no results in what I do, what the point of me to continue? (there is no goal at all, they will feel restless and disappointed). 
  • Can Burn Out Easily – I get tired very easily. Even though I don’t do much or I do a lot of things in one day, I burn out easily mainly, mentally.

Relationships with an Advocate type

Oh, my gulay. When I read the section of ‘Advocate Relationship,’ I agreed on all of it. When I’m in a relationship, I’m pretty serious. Currently, I am in a relationship and it’s been one year and nine months. We knew each other one or two years prior getting together. Once I found him, I look at him imaging on what it is like to be with him in a long-term. I look past his flaws, accepting that it is part of him. If he wants to mend some flaws of his, I will give him my full support. He and I are supportive of each other and try our best to stay authentic with each other; telling each other honestly and learning to accept the truth. We both look at each other for emotional support and embraces that part of us. It literally strengthens the relationship we have since we’re both passionate people. When it comes to intimacy, Advocates cherish not just the act of being in a relationship, but what it means to become one with another person, in mind, body, and soul.

Friendships

I make mostly close friends because nowadays, you do not need 800+ friends to make your life better nor easier. Although, it will take a while for me to get know people. I like to connect people with similar interests. No, this doesn’t mean like oh, I think I like you in that way. That goes every people I connect/interact with. I tend to avoid people who are egoistic or talking over other people. If I want to get to know the person, be yourself naturally. I agreed with this statement, quality trumps quantity every time, and over the years they will likely end up with just a few true friendships, built on a richness of mutual understanding that forges an indelible link between them.I always tell this to people spending quality time is more important than how many times. I even tell this to my boyfriend, haha.

I’ll skip the parenthood, careers, and workplace habits to get to the conclusion. There are so many things I want to point out but I don’t want to make this post even longer and boring for you guys ><

I’ll quote a statement that describes an Advocate I am, right now.

You may have muttered to yourself, “wow, this is so accurate it’s a little creepy” or “finally, someone understands me!” You may have even asked “how do they know more about me than the people I’m closest to?”  like dude, staph analyzing my brain!

So yeah, that was pretty interesting to know! If you like to know what your personality type is, take this link: https://www.16personalities.com/  and take it 🙂 If you like to share your personality type, please do comment! I wonder if you’re thinking the same way I was thinking when I take this test. Well, catch a glimpse of Haya later.

 

 

 

Once Again – (Story-Tyme)

I went Formula Drift on April 7th with my boyfriend and two good friends in Long Beach. If you’ve been to Formula Drift before, then you know who’s the winner.

April 7th – Time: 7:15am

My boyfriend and I snoozed for about four times before we actually wake up. It was frustrating in the morning so he made us coffee while I decided to go get us breakfast burritos on the road; I got a sausage burrito and he got a bacon burrito without cheese. Actually, his mom made me Armenian coffee, hahaha. Around 9 am, we finally hit the street to Long Beach. Luckily, our friends stayed at a hotel close by where the event will be at. We didn’t arrive until around 10 am. We parked in the parking construction, 5 minutes walk away. We met our friends once we went through the ticket process.

Poor thing, our friends look like they didn’t have enough sleep but they still up and looking forward to seeing what is happening next. Btw, it’s their first time coming to this kind of event as well. Not a lot of people showing yet but soon will become crowded once the event has the final 16 to compete. Right now it was top 32. We sat in a new section this year. Prior coming to this event, my boyfriend and I went on trying to find the seat in the area he was to sit like the last time and I told him that it is full, we will have to try different seats. He was so adamant that he wanted the same section and that I’ve told him that he needs to try different section and who knows, he might like it.

So, we walked around and see some booths that are already set up. I spotted air freshener booth and I need new air freshener. So I got one for the cup tumbler and asked my boyfriend that he needs one for his car so he got the box that you can put underneath the car seat. The woman was so nice that she actually gave us another regular air freshener and I only paid 20 bucks for 3. Then we resume walking around. In one of the booths, I won a sticker for scoring one sandbag in the hole. Oh, in case if you’re wondering about the weather, the weather was nice, cloudy and bit of cold; later during the day, it gets warm.

We finally decided to go find our seats in the section since the competition is starting. We watch the top 32 finalists competed. We decided to leave before the last round and we regretted not staying because the commotions we hear and saw on the big screen, the Ferrari 599 GTB got caught on fire. Luckily, the driver got out in time before he got engulfed by the fire. However, the drifter (Federico Sceriffo) got out safe in time before the driver’s seat engulfed by the fire. The fuel line was punctured by another vehicle which started the fire. You can see the dark smokes smoking up the air where the palm trees swinging against the winds.  Hopefully, Sceriffo can rebuild his car to drift again.

During that last round, we decided to get some food. I went and got the ghost fries which is really spicy, but at the same time, so good. My boyfriend got us carne asada tacos and it was alright. I shouldn’t get the fries because once we got back to watch the top 16, I was feeling nausea and my tummy wasn’t happy.

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Next time, I’m not gonna get those fries. Once the final 8 turned to final top 4. It was Fredric Aasbo, Forrest Wang, James Deane, and Piotr Wiecek in the top 4. Then it comes down to Aasbo and Wang competing for the first place. It got everyone riled up and to the point where everyone chanting ‘One more time! One more time!” They got the OMT. I was hoping that Wang gets the first place because it’s been awhile that he actually get in the final 4. And Aasbo already has 11 wins so far. The tension got most of everyone standing from their seat and watch the last round of Aasbo and Wang drifting. It was a close call. When they finally announce the winner, they kept us teetering on our toes and Aasbo won. With another win, he now has 12 wins! Sad at the same happy for him, but Wang deserved it. We didn’t stay in for the podium where they give trophies to the winners, we decided to grab some eats.

We went to Downtown LA and meet there for Korean BBQ. Waited for at least an hour and finally got our seat. Grubs some meats in our tummy and enjoyed time chatting. I told my boyfriend that we could’ve gotten ramen instead of KBBQ, hahaha. We were so full and satisfied and thanked each other for coming. We had fun and it was such a chill. I’m glad they get to enjoy the event instead of working all day and give them a chance to relax all day from work. Boyfriend got us ice cream at AmPm gas station and we’re done for the night.

That’s it for story-time with a glimpse of Haya. Catch y’all later.